Recoil by Evelyn Drake

Author:Evelyn Drake [Drake, Evelyn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-10-02T16:00:00+00:00

14

Kyle

Kyle laid on his back in bed, staring at the ceiling of his bedroom in the early morning light. He considered all the choices he’d made in his life—those that had been his to make—and he wondered at what he could have decided differently to lead to a present that didn’t include two people dead, people who were under his protection.

“I’m a failure,” he mumbled to himself, “and someone died because of it.” On top of that, after last night’s attack, The Derriere had been shut down until further notice by Mary-Ann. People—including himself—were losing their paychecks. Of course, that was nothing compared with losing your life, which is why Mary-Ann had made the decision to close the club’s doors until the killer was found.

Kyle tossed a hacky sack ball into the air above his face and caught it. It was his zen thing to do when he didn’t know what to do with his feelings or which way to go with his life. He threw it again just as the image of Tobias’s face came into his mind.

Gay…

He could still remember the things his parents had said about him and Tobias. He remembered his father’s anger and his mother’s tears. But when his mother stopped crying, she was angry, too.

They’d called him names. They’d told him he’d burn in hell, and then they locked him in the basement to give him a taste of hell. They never beat him. They never struck him. They just let some guy come in and electrocute him so bad he’d thought his jaw was broken. Then had come rewards and punishment through food. But they’d reward and punish his body, not his mind.

He was a fifteen year old boy. What did they expect his body to do when they showed him some guy sucking on a cock long and thick enough to be a summer sausage?

“I’d never do that to my child, not any of it,” he said to himself. He was still trying to figure his parents out, fifteen years after their deaths. He knew that they’d loved, but maybe they’d loved wrong…

Yet, he remembered the laughter and the love his home had before his parents had found out about him and Tobias. The difference in his life before they’d found out compared with after had been a change Kyle had never been able to make sense of. The day his parents had found out about Tobias, Kyle lost everything. He lost his freedom, his parents, a loving home that he felt safe in… and Tobias.

Had it been worth it?

Swinging his feet out of bed, Kyle remained sitting on the mattress’s edge, staring at his feet as he traced circles with his big toe on the hardwood floor. It was cold, but he didn’t mind.

His eyes went to the side, looking at his cell phone sitting on his bedside table.

“Am I gay?” he asked himself.

“Does it matter?” he answered himself by way of another question.

He wanted Tobias to meet the most important person in his life—Monica.

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